What an upset BABY!

It's delivery baby!!

Just so we can clear some things up, this is the text message I sent to K. Almasy at 6:21 p.m. on Monday evening, approximatey 69 minutes before the SU v. Florida tipoff:

I'm calling the SU upset right now...

Despite Dickie V. urging me towards a Florida blowout, I went with my heart and SU came through, or should I say some dude with a fohawk named Andy Rautins did...

Speaking of which, why is it that Boeheim has his weird knack for recruiting complete D-bags. Let's see, Melo is nasty, but most certainly a bag of douche, McNamara is doing car commercials or trying out for the Jazz (or perhaps both), Devendorf has had a chin-strap since he was born, Dante Green refused to play defense, and now this Rautins dude has a fohawk... does it get much douchier?

And is it just me or does Richard Vitale get more annoying each year... Highlights from last night's broadcast:

- Every time he said athletic (ex. Oh my God, look at Paul Harris. That kid is ath-the-le-tic. What and ath-the-lete.)

- I don't know if anyone heard this, and I can't find it, but sometime in the second half, Dickie went on a rant about how Paul Harris should quit basketball and play in the NFL. With all seriousness he said, "If I was an NFL scout I would be taking a serious look at this kid as a defensive end or an outside linebacker. C'mon baby! We're GONNA GET YOU DRAFTED PAUL!!"

Seriously?...

How do you mark your Titleist?

            Go in your home ball are you too good for your home? 

J.P. Hayes bonehead err honest move to disqualify himself from the second stage of the PGA Tour qualifying tournament has received some serious most-honest-man-since-Abe-Lincoln press. 

Long story short, J.P.'s caddy flipped him a ball on a par three, J.P. took two shots on a par 3, one from the tee then one from the rough to the green before realizing he wasn't using the same ball he began his round with (a two-stroke penalty). 

Then that night (one can only assume at 3am in a deep sweat) he jumped out of bed thinking he may have used that super cheatastic prototype ball the geeks at Titleist had given him a few weeks earlier. Woops. 

Anyway, while I won't be one to weigh in on J.P.'s decision, considering I can't remember the last time I DIDN'T pick up my ball that was buried under an inch of the thick stuff, place it nicely on the first cut to insure a solid impact, and then go on to hook it into the woods, I'll let the WWL's Jason Sobel do the talking for me. 

Let's just say that Jason doesn't believe we should be naming J.P. the next patron saint of golf anytime soon. And according to Sobel, it appears that he may even turn this good-guy karma into a few sponsers exemptions, which all in all is probably a good thing. Sorry John. 

Because no one likes Cleveland

                                            How Cute....Barf. 

As if Cleveland wasn't already on edge with more than a year to go before the Summer of Lebron, now this. 

When Bron was asked before Cleveland's game against Utah on Saturday if he believed the Yanks would sign former Cleveland Indians ace Carsten Charles Sabathia, it's reported that Bron smiled and said "We're gonna get him. Absolutely." 

And for those of you not hip to the game, the "we're" Bron speaks of is the Yanks, not the hometown Tribe. And if money talks it appears that the Chosen One is right. Luckily things of this ilk have never happened to Cleveland in the past. 

At least Arkron is still in the King's fav five top places to call home. Le sigh.

Oh, the mailbag...

I guess most fans just don't have this kind of dedication.

I think we're all pretty familiar with "The Mailbag." You know, the SG's weekly ego boost that doubles as an excuse to write 20,000 word articles/bash other teams/make obscure pop-culture references/make rash often illogical judgments based on little else than his own disillusion misjudgments/have his wife do his job (he's so quirky!!)/reinforce his "everyman" status.

Typically, I don't bother to read the Mailbag, mostly because I can't stand the questions from SG-loving readers (ex. "I would like to nominate you, Bill Simmons, for a new Sports Czar position in the Obama cabinet. It's a position that's needed in government, no? You're the only one who can save this country from future sports missteps"... ugh). But, since this week's was a two-part series, I figured it must have something worthwhile.

I'll give the SG the benefit of the doubt and say there was probably a hidden gem in there somewhere. Unfortunately, I had to stop before the part duex because of this insightful Q&A..

Q: I was in the Verizon Center in D.C. the other night when I looked up to the rafters to see banners claiming the Washington Mystics led the WNBA in attendance, not once, not twice, but THREE times (1998, 1999 and 2002). Has it really been that long for a championship in the D.C. area that they are clinging to WNBA attendance titles? Shouldn't there be a rule stating a city must be in a championship drought for a set number of years before hanging up meaningless banners? We need your expertise on this one.
-- Steve, Needham Heights, Mass.

SG: I don't consider those three WNBA attendance titles valid because half of those crowds were made up of Pittsburgh Steelers fans. But I mentioned your e-mail to my buddy House (a D.C. fan and resident) and he shamefully passed this tidbit along: Apparently last month during a Capitals game, the Caps raised a banner to commemorate their 2007-08 Southeast Division title. If you came up with some sort of formula to determine the worst four-sport city in America that included things like "sweeping lack of success," "general apathy," "ability of opposing fans to overwhelm your home crowd," "lack of tradition," "most transplants living in the city and rooting for other teams" and everything else, wouldn't Washington and Atlanta end up battling it out for the title like Sebastian Coe and Steve Scott in the '80s, like, they'd be so far ahead of the pack that it would be foolish to even mention the other contenders?

Obviously this one hits a little close to home. I mean, a top-four city with a "sweeping lack of success"? Before 2001, the Sox and the Pats couldn't even make it to a championship, let alone win one. Last I checked the Redskins and the Patriots both have 3 titles. The Nats have been in D.C. for three years. It's hard to argue about the Caps and the Wizards, but as Dan Steinberg pointed out in his D.C. Sports Bog, it's not like another particular arena hasn't hung up banners that weren't world championships.

As far as" lack of tradition," check out any NFC East game (particularly tonight's Skin's, Cowboys matchup) to refute that. It'll be a far cry from the Jets v. Pats match up the SG's dad probably gets all lathered up into a frenzy about each year, just to argue with Jets fans about whose coach is douchier.

And to touch on the fan base, I seem to remember the SG's fan base walking out of their stadium at halftime this year... and in the playoffs.

Taunting 101 with The Big Ticket

Well, we've already seen the kind of insanity KG is capable of when he sexually harassed Michelle Tafoya while breaking down in tears. Apparently he is still "so hyped right now."

Obviously the Celts have decided against putting him on psyche meds, and Jose Calderon saw the brunt of it. I think the best part of this clip is when Garnett actually tries to play D.

Why didn't the refs T his ass up?

Because... ANYTHING IS POSSSSSIIIBLLLLLLE!!!

Apparrently the bailout doesn't include mascots

First off, I'd like to officially welcome us back to the IHBS sports blog. I think we've all agreed that since reading 60,000 word SG articles is just flat out a waste of time, general sports shenanigans will be the overriding theme. Of course if you feel the need point out the SG's douchery, feel free.


That being said, I have to share an article I read today on the D.C. Sports Bog. Apparently George Mason's mangy embarrassment of a mascot Gunston is being let go. Actually, GMU's website claims he is graduating (after 13 years), but it sounds like he was the most hated thing on campus. He was so lovingly described by alumni in the D.C. Sports Bog as a "wannabe Grover," "a poorly constructed Sesame Street character." One alumni likened him to "going to the car show in a Hyundai" and another said he had heard shouts of "We hate you Gunston!" at basketball games... from the home crowd.

Even the GMU website gives it this less than poetic description:

"With his out-of-this-world dance moves and enthusiasm for Mason Athletics, Gunston is the Patriots' most recognized and biggest fan, soaking in all of what George Mason University has to offer."

Good thing Otto specializes in the full court somersaults... and apparently physically abusing the Nittany Lion.